Wager Mage
Photo: Madison Inouye
With poker, even while winning, came stress. Every life has stress in it, but Wilinofsky recognized that the tension he felt playing poker was different. Even people with stressful regular jobs, he realized, usually aren't dealing with the sort of swings a poker player experiences.
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Read More »"I was shaking uncontrollably in the WCOOP. In the satellite, I was grinding my teeth and everything in my body was squeezed tight." Wilinofsky says he's aware of what the effects are now and how it will affect him. Still, it can be a very difficult stress to manage. "I find, when I fall back into playing poker, I sleep poorly," he explains. "I'm more irritable... little things get on my nerves more." Such an experience isn't limited to poker. Recently, elite sports stars have come out about situations that have affected them, with Arsenal's former center back Per Mertesacker telling Der Spiegel in 2018 about a stomach ailment linked to nervous tension. "I think the emotional swings, which lead to hormonal swings, are not something human beings are designed to sustain," Wilinofsky says. "Burying myself in poker as a distraction was a way to ignore the things bothering me. It maybe wasn't a healthy way to deal with those things. "I just kicked the can down the road and let [those problems] fester and continue to hurt, like a thorn in my side. Not paying attention to the thorn feels better than paying attention to it. But it doesn't help you get it out." For Wilinofsky, putting off the self-loathing and worry felt better than feeling it, but it took him further away from healing the mechanisms that caused those feelings. It was only once he faced them that he learned to separate emotion from poker.
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