What are the three types of cheating?

Categories or types of infidelity include physical infidelity, emotional cheating, cyber infidelity, object infidelity, and financial infidelity.

choosingtherapy.com - Infidelity: Types, Causes, & Effects - Choosing Therapy

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Preventing Infidelity

When it comes to preventing infidelity, it’s important to have open conversations with your partner about your boundaries for fidelity and what you perceive as infidelity. Communicating early on about your relationship desires and expectations can help prevent bigger problems down the road. These kinds of topics are discussed in premarital counseling.

Recovering From Infidelity

If your relationship has been affected by infidelity, consider seeking the help of a marriage and family therapist who is experienced in working with couples and infidelity. Professional counseling can provide a space for you and your partner to rebuild trust, strengthen intimacy, sincerely apologize for past actions, and deal with the problems in the relationships that made it susceptible to an affair in the first place. The early conversations about infidelity may be filled with accusations or defensiveness. Part of the therapist’s role is to help you and your partner recognize these interactions, learn fair fighting rules, and stabilize the situation. A crucial piece to recovering from infidelity is forgiveness. Through remorse and apologies by the offending partner, the partner who was hurt can let go of their anger and resentment. The offending partner often seeks forgiveness quickly, but this is a process that should not be rushed. Forgiveness takes time, and pushing the hurt partner to forgive prematurely can further damage the relationship.

Recovering From Repeated Affairs

Repeated affairs can be a sign of much bigger underlying problems in the relationship. If there’s a history of infidelity in your relationship, be honest with your partner about any lingering feelings of hurt or insecurity. It’s possible to save a marriage after an affair and rebuild a stronger foundation in your relationship. However, the repair can only happen if both partners work equally towards healing. If problems related to the infidelity go unresolved, the relationship may continue to deteriorate. In some situations, a sexual addiction or compulsion for love and romance may help to explain recurring motivations for infidelity. An individual who feels helpless against their urges may feel shame or worthlessness. Other repeat offenders may not be remorseful and take advantage of opportunities without apology. In order for repeated affairs to be successfully addressed, the offending partner must be open to exploring and moving on from the source of the urges or motivation for the infidelity.

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3 Types of Therapy Used to Treat Infidelity

Most forms of therapeutic treatment for infidelity include sessions with both partners as, but there may be times throughout treatment when individual sessions are utilized.

Three modalities a therapist may use to treat infidelity include:

1. Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT)

EFT is a type of psychotherapy that focuses on building attachment in relationships. In other words, EFT is used to improve the bond between partners. From an EFT perspective, infidelity can devastate the attachment bond causing the relationship to become unsafe.8 EFT addresses the attachment injury that resulted from the infidelity and works toward repairing the bond between partners. An EFT therapist will help you understand your emotions and adopt healthier patterns.

2. The Gottman Method

The Gottman Method is an evidence-based model that assists couples to build friendship, resolve conflict, and make meaning.9,10 The Gottman’s developed the “Atone, Attune, and Attach” model for dealing with infidelity. In the “Atone” phase, the offending partner must be remorseful and accept responsibility without being defensive. In the “Attune” phase, the couple learns to manage conflict and recommits to each other. In the “Attach” phase, the couple rebuilds connection and physical intimacy.

3. Integrative Approach

Using integrative therapy and the integrated approach (usually a combination of psychodynamic, cognitive behavioral, and humanistic therapies), couples can move through three phases of recovery after infidelity:11

Here are the three phases of the integrative approach:

Manage the impact of the initial crisis Gain a shared understanding of the factors that led to the infidelity Make the decision to move forward together or separately

Does Marriage Counseling Help After Infidelity?

It can be hard to rebuild trust after infidelity, but it is possible. Rebuilding trust takes intention and understanding of what the infidelity meant for the relationship. It involves taking ownership and accountability and finding ways to reconnect and reform the foundational pieces of the relationship. Infidelity can turn the relationship upside down and it can be challenging to know how to start. Processing your feelings and creating space for these feelings in the relationship is a good way to begin. Working with a therapist is a great way to find a framework for this as well. Marriage counseling helps after infidelity tremendously as it helps to give structure on how to rebuild the relationship.

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How to Find a Couples Therapist

If you’re ready to work on your relationship to make it healthier, working with a couples therapist is a great way to begin. Consider starting your search through an online therapist directory. You can search through bios and read up on clinicians to learn more about them and make calls as a couple to see if they are a good fit.

Final Thoughts on Infidelity In a Relationship

Infidelity is very hard to handle in a relationship as there are many reasons why someone might cheat. It can trigger past traumas or be the creation of a new trauma. It’s important to take care of yourself during this time and consider what your goals and values are, and think about couples therapy to help you and your partner move forward. If your goal is to rebuild your relationship, therapy can make a big difference in how you feel and know that it may be challenging, but it is not impossible to come out stronger on the other side.

choosingtherapy.com - Infidelity: Types, Causes, & Effects - Choosing Therapy

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